Forgiveness
by Perfection-Addict
Summary: Clare hates February. Especially since it's the start of a new semester. Just when she thinks this month couldn't get any worse, she gets partnered up with a certain ex-boyfriend. And what's the deal with this Frostival? Eli/Clare FROSTIVAL!


**Chapter 1: February**

(Clare's POV)

I let my booted foot sink into the mountain of sludge. Snow and water: quite a simple combination. Yet, dirt always seems to find its way into the substance. Thus, Degrassi was left looking rather pathetic; decorated head-to-toe in grime. Not water; not snow; but filthy, runny, unappealing slush. It only figures. February is the month of slush, it seems. I can add that to the list of reasons why February sucks. _Everything's covered in muck. _Besides, by this time winter seems like it has lasted eternity. No one wants another month of it! That and it's the start of a new semester. I mean, it's ridiculous! You just get used to your teacher, classmates and schedule, then – poof! You have to start all over. Meet new people, get to know another teacher, and find out where the heck your classes are. Speaking of the delightful shift, that's what today is: the first day of the new semester.

It's as if the sky wore dull grey for the occasion; like wearing black to a funeral. Like it knew today was going to be dreadful, and decided to colour co-ordinate with it. I walked up the cement stairs, each step killing me a bit more than the last. Little puddles of people surrounded the doors, but no one I knew. Not that it mattered, I had nothing to say: to anyone. I guess that should have bothered me: being a loner. But it didn't. I liked being alone. It was peaceful and gave me lots of time to think. Now that I look back on the fact, maybe I really didn't _like_ being alone. Maybe I had convinced myself that it was pleasant; gotten so used to the solitude that I couldn't imagine my life any different. Either way, I must have seemed rather pitiful. And yet, I have a feeling that no one even bothered to notice my loneliness. I was invisible, just a faceless being lost somewhere in the sea of students. So naturally, when I heard someone call my name, I thought it was meant to grab the attention of another Clare.

"Clare! Hey, wait up!" He flew towards me, tapping at my shoulder. I spun around, my face holding a somewhat friendly look. There was no reason for me to be cold to such a kind creature.

"Adam. It's been a while." To my surprise, I actually sounded relatively excited. I guess I was glad someone had actually made the effort to start a conversation with me.

"Yah," awkward silence, "That's actually what I came to talk to you about. You're hardly around anymore. We're getting kind of worried." We: had he just said _we_? As in there were other people who still cared about me, who worried about me. I think that's when it first hit me: I missed the company of others. I wanted to find this "we" and tackle them; tell them I love them! Okay, so maybe that's a little over the top. But I _was_ determined to find out who "we" was.

"Yes, I know. I haven't been exactly…_around_. But don't worry: I'm starting fresh. It's a new semester, after all." I stated confidently.

"Good. Then I'll see you around?"

"You will!" I giggled, maybe a little _too_ happily.

* * *

_Come on Clare! You can do this. Just be friendly. You guys used to be friends. It shouldn't be too hard. Besides, you're the one who should be mad. Well, you did say some nasty stuff to them. So they're probably mad too. And it's two against one! Abort mission! Abort mission!_ That's, roughly, the mental debate that was taking place in the controversial head of mine. I wasn't sure whether to approach my former friends: Alli and Jenna, or continue walking. If I continued to walk, I would most definitely end up sitting alone. Yet, if I approached the duo, there's a chance that a verbal (or physical) battle would take place. So, since I like my body bruise-free, I decided to "abort mission". Unfortunately, it was too late.

The looks they gave me were absolutely comical. Picture a surprised expression, then multiply that look by ten. Like amateur actors who overdo it, exaggerate their actions so much that they come off fake. I mean, the moment they saw me they froze, their eyes widened, and their mouths flew open. It was most unnatural. Though I had the urge to scream and run away, I just stood there: waiting. I was about to lay my lunch tray down on the table before me, but decided against it at the last second possible. If this didn't go well, I would have to abandon my food and leave lunch-less. So I clutched onto my tray as tight as possible, for at that moment it was my only comfort. Naturally, a few seconds later, their surprised looks grew into vicious stares. I immediately noticed the change, and cut in before one could speak.

"I'm sorry." I knew it wasn't enough, that they would probably just brush off my apology and leave. Or start stabbing at me with horrid words. Yet, their vulgar expressions instantly faltered, renewing my confidence. They gave each other questioning looks; then both gave me the slightest nod. That little gesture made my stomach tingle. Maybe they _were_ the "we". I positioned my tray down and took a seat, wondering how the rest of this lunchtime would play out. Alli instantaneously answered my question.

"I'm such a bitch." Straightforward; right to the point. I almost chuckled at her blunt statement.

"Yah, me too," Jenna added.

"I think we all are," I finished, sighing. Then, as if on cue, we all mumbled a "yah". From there, it took us about five minutes to apologize, explain, and confess our love for one another. After that, we pretty much just picked up where we left off. We went straight to the gossip and petty conversations.

"So, what's going on between you and Jake?" I started, trying to lighten up the mood. For a moment Jenna gave me a slightly confused look (seeing as I almost ripped her hair out for befriending him) but she quickly gave in.

"Well…" she giggled.

Immediately, the conversation bubbled and we talked non-stop until we were forced back to class. Some might argue that I should still be mad at my friends for what they did; and vice versa. But forgiveness is a great virtue, and one I lack. So, I'm going to test it out, for once I will truly forgive and forget. All I know is that it's easier to face the trials of life, with someone beside you. It's more enjoyable to celebrate the triumphs with loved ones. And after all this time I can tell you one thing: loneliness is a bigger bitch than Jenna, Alli, and I combined!

* * *

_One more period! One last class until I'm free! _I kept repeating those two sentences, over and over again, in my mind. The day had flown by, but I still had English. English, probably my favourite class last year was now the class I wanted over with. Oh, how times have changed. Maybe it's the absence of Ms. Dawes that has made English insufferable. Perhaps it's because Adam isn't here to talk to. Or possibly, just possibly, it's because Eli is no longer here and no longer a friend. Then, as if he had heard me call, the familiar smirk-wearing; guyliner-using; sarcastic mess of boy walked through the door. Is it stupid to say that suddenly everything was in slow motion? I mean I must have been hallucinating or something because it was like the world was moving slower. His strides were long, and his eyelashes fluttered in the most amazing of ways. Not to mention that little smile on his face when we locked eyes. So sweet and sincere I felt my stomach tingle for the second time that day.

He definitely looked different. He had cut down on the eyeliner; I think he stopped using it altogether. Now, his green eyes were the stars of the show. His hair was shorter, more natural and slightly brighter. Way better than the dark, over-sized hat of a hairdo he sported beforehand. Most of all, he looked happy. He looked healthy. Then, suddenly, my thoughts were interrupted.

"Mr. Goldsworthy, glad you could join us," Mrs. Wagner's soft, but stern voice gushed.

"The first day and you already know your students' names. Brilliant," though there was a hint of sarcasm in his voice, I could tell that he was in fact impressed.

"Well, when your students are too careless to show up on time, it seems quite necessary to remember which is which," she retorted, a sharp tone in her voice. I turned my attention to my notebook and started to doodle, who knows how long this trivial fight would take. But almost right after, an eerie silence filled the room, and I looked up to find a curious Mrs. Wagner looking from me to Eli. Obviously, she had followed his gaze, and was now deciphering the situation. She must have also noticed my petrified expression because she quickly continued.

"Take your seat Mr. Goldsworthy." He did as instructed. And of course, the only empty seat was right behind me. I didn't know whether to yell at fate or Mrs. Wagner for trying to toy with a non-existent relationship. I decided to get angry with fate. For Mrs. Wagner couldn't have known the only vacant spot was behind me. Or could she? No. No she couldn't.

The lesson was extremely boring. It was all about writing format, detail, and complexity: the basics. I know today was the start of a new semester and therefor a refresher, but this was excruciating. The few times I looked behind me, I could see that Eli was thinking the same thing. He and I were beyond this, far beyond this. When the nosy teacher of ours started talking about making people feel as if they are "actually in the story" I couldn't resist the urge to look back. Eli caught my gaze and rolled his eyes, he too was dying inside. I stifled a laugh and spun back around.

Finally, Mrs. Wagner stopped her rambling and started to wrap things up.

"Alright, a very productive day," she calls _that _productive? "I'm going to tell you all right now, I'm not a big fan of homework," a few happy chirps come from the crowd, "But considering we have just started, and your brains are a little fuzzy at the moment: I feel the need to assign something." Those happy chirps have now transformed into disappointed scoffs. She only ignores the remarks, and continues:

"Don't worry it's quite fun and simple. I just want you and a partner to come up with a short story no longer than a page. Make it anything you like. However, _I_ will choose the partners." One by one, she calls out each pair: fast and with ease. Yet, when it comes to me, she seems to hesitate.

"Clare Edwards and," she pauses and gives me a knowing smile, "Eli Goldsworthy." Okay, I'm definitely not blaming fate anymore. It's all Mrs. Wagner. Thank you, Mrs. Wagner, thank you very much.

(Eli's POV)

Thank you, Mrs. Wagner, you rock! I knew I liked her; I knew Wagner was cool. Paired up with Clare; perfect. I know what you're thinking. Well, _stop_ thinking it. My motive is completely harmless. I only want to rebuild our friendship, nothing else. That doesn't mean I don't have feelings for her, I still do. But I don't plan on trying anything romantic, at all. A friendship is all I seek; a friendship with Ms. Edwards.

"Alright, I've changed my mind," our awesome teacher began. Wait? Changed her mind? Does that mean no assignment? No partners? If so, she's not that awesome anymore; not even a bit.

"No more itty-bitty assignment," What! "No, I want this to be a full-blown novel. Consider this your semester project. And consider your partner, your coauthor. I will give you class time, every now and then, to work on it. So, tonight, there will be _no_ homework." Right then, my world stopped. Was she for real? Okay, she was officially my favourite teacher: ever. There were a few mixed sounds from the students. Some were happy about having no homework, while others were already stressing over their assignments.

"You have five minutes to discuss with your coauthor, then you're dismissed. Have a good night everyone!" Before she turned to erase the blackboard, she gave me a wink. Wow, she's pretty meddlesome isn't she? I didn't even have time to think about that little signal, as Clare came before me.

"I think we should do something inspirational," she suggested.

"Hi, I'm doing fine thanks," I joked, trying to ease the tension.

"Come on Eli. This is serious. It's probably worth most of our grade."

"Alright, alright; I can be serious." This spreads a smile across her face. "Aw, there's the Edwards I know and," I hesitate (would saying "love" sound creepy?), "and think is great!" Good save Eli, good save. The bell then rescues me from that awkward conversation, as Clare nods and walks away. This is going to be fun.

(Clare's POV)

Are you serious? A semester project: as in I have to work with Eli the _whole_ semester. Well, I guess it could be worse. He could be a terrible writer. I mean, he's amazing and we are a pretty good team. I'll just have to suck it up. It shouldn't be too bad. As long as we don't get _too _close, or close at all for that matter. Just as I was exiting the school, Katie Matlin's nauseating voice echoed through Degrassi.

"Attention! To celebrate the start of a new semester, Degrassi will have its first ever Frostival. So make sure you get your tickets before they're sold out! Thank you."

A Frostival: maybe Matlin isn't doing _such _a horrible job as President. And maybe, just maybe February isn't _that _bad of month.


End file.
